I was born over forty years ago in County Sligo, Ireland. My due date had been almost two weeks before which is ironic as I hate being late for anything! My birth had several complications including my mum being given an overdose of drugs to induce the labour and a lack of oxygen in the delivery room when I arrived. These complications resulted in me later being diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy.
The Diagnosis
Having already had my two sisters, my parents were familiar with the normal childhood milestones and it was clear that I wasn’t developing normally. When my parents flagged this with medical professionals, their concerns were sadly missed. They were told I was simply a “slow child” and that I would catch up. How wrong those professionals were.
My parents continued to be concerned about my lack of development; initially I couldn’t hold my head or sit up independently. Most babies attempt to walk before their first birthday but I was well past my second before I was even tempted. When I did start walking, in my own unique fashion, it was clear to everyone that my traumatic birth had reaped consequences. I was almost four years old when Cerebral Palsy was finally confirmed.
Education and Cerebral Palsy in the 1980s
Despite my physical limitations, my mum had a mantra which has always stuck with me:, “There might be something wrong with your legs but there’s nowt wrong with your brain!” Right from the off, my parents knew that my intelligence was that of any other child and they wanted me to have a mainstream education. The local authorities had other ideas. They felt my needs would be better met if I attended a “Special School” – as they were known in the 80’s.
Battle lines had been drawn but if you knew my parents, you’d know who to bet your money on! After many fraught discussions, I was eventually granted a place at my local Catholic primary school. There were a few conditions – I had to have 1:1 support and wasn’t allowed to attend school if my support worker was absent.
Cerebral Palsy didn’t limit me
My parents were right: having Cerebral Palsy didn’t limit me academically and I thrived within a mainstream environment. My classmates were accepting of me and I could easily manage what was expected of me. But things were far from plain sailing. The Head Teacher remained unhappy about me being in the school and therefore was particularly unhelpful when bullies from other classes targeted me. But mum and dad remained determined that I would remain in the school and faced with the Head’s reluctance to deal with the bullies, my mum soon dealt with them herself!
My parents had to fight to keep me at that school and their resilience and determination definitely rubbed off me! Little did I realise that there would be many battles ahead that I would have to fight in order to maintain my rights as a disabled person.
I eventually moved on to a mainstream secondary school which was much more welcoming and supportive. Again, I had one to one support and this time, this support was invaluable as the secondary school I attended was much more physically demanding. But despite this, I continued to do well academically and I finished Year 11 with 7 GCSEs – A to C grades. Mum and Dad had fought so hard to get me to this point and my achievements had made it all worthwhile.
Navigating further education with Cerebral Palsy
It was time for another change. I had thought about staying on at school to do my A-Levels but the local authority wouldn’t fund my support worker to stay on and so I had to find somewhere to continue my studies. After looking at a number of local colleges, it became apparent that they weren’t equipped to support me.
Someone at the school suggested Hereward College – a residential college for disabled students. I was torn. My parents had fought for so long to keep me in mainstream education but now I was realising, I needed to develop my independent living skills and Hereward might be the perfect place to continue my studies whilst learning to live without my parents support.
Hereward frustrated me academically – what I thought was a two year course was actually three years as the teaching pace was so much slower than what I was used to. However, my independence grew and I was developing the ability to live on my own in the future and that made up for any academic short-comings of the college.
Moving on to University
After achieving good results at Hereward, my next step was university. I had heard that Oxford Brookes had excellent support for disabled students. After visiting the university, my heart was set on it. I was over the moon when I was offered a place to study Business Management.
Once again, the academic aspect didn’t faze me at all. I attended all of my lectures with a note taker for support and I kept up with my assignments without any issues. However, the social side of university life proved more challenging. I struggled to make friends and eventually reached out to staff at the Students Union. They encouraged me to stand for the position of Disability Officer and finally the social life of university began to flourish!
Cerebral Palsy and Employment
My next big hurdle presented itself as I began looking for my 3rd year work placement. Despite making dozens of applications and attending several interviews, I struggled to secure a placement and I soon realised that my disability was the issue.
One employer blatantly rejected me, saying he couldn’t employ me because his clients wouldn’t be able to understand my speech. His attitude devastated me but told him there were many ways to communicate and that his opinion was unfortunate as I’d have been a brilliant asset to his team.
After months of rejections, I went to the Oxford Brookes Career Service for support and advice. They decided to contact local organisations to see if they could find a role for me and good news soon followed. Reading Borough Council were working in partnership with Scope on a project supporting disabled people into employment and they needed a Project Assistant. Talk about the perfect role for me!
It was so perfect that upon my graduation the following year, I returned to the role full time. My role was mainly supporting disabled people to find employment and work experience opportunities but I also worked with employers – educating them on disability and how to support disabled colleagues. I loved my job as it allowed me to use my own experiences to help and educate others – something I’ve been doing ever since.
Becoming a mum with Cerebral Palsy
Happy in my professional life as I was, I began online dating and soon met my now husband, Dean. Within a year of meeting, we got engaged and began planning our wedding back in Sligo, Ireland. It was a traditional Irish Wedding and marked the start of lots of changes in my life.
Although I had loved my job, the organisation had gone through changes and became stressful. So shortly after the wedding, I handed in my resignation and we moved to be closer to family in Birmingham. I had another role in mind and knew being around my family would be important.
Less than a year later, I became pregnant with our son, Jack. Becoming a disabled mum was daunting and unfortunately, support and information seemed in short supply. I felt incredibly lucky to have a supportive family and husband who believed in my abilities.
Although challenges presented themselves, I adapted well to being a disabled mum and we now have two happy, gorgeous boys!
Living with Cerebral Palsy
As well as raising our boys, I’m now a self-employed Disability Guest Speaker and Trainer. I spend a lot of my time visiting schools and delivering Disability Awareness Assemblies . I believe it’s really important that children learn about disability as early as possible, as it’s key to removing barriers and continuing to improve disability rights in the future.
I also work for Birmingham City University as an Expert by Experience. This involves supporting the teaching of Social Work and Education students through role plays and giving feedback. I really enjoy this aspect of my work as I think it’s really important that disabled people are involved in educating the people who will be advocating for them in the future.
Finally, I also work with my husband on our online business, Costs to Expect. There are many strands to the business but my main role is as Content Writer for our Budget Pro App.
If you’d like to read more about my story, I’m written a book about my experiences of living with Cerebral Palsy – “Does it wet the bed?” is available on Amazon.