Parenthood is a life-changing experience for anyone, sprinkled with joy and laughter, tears and challenges. For me, the journey has been uniquely shaped by my experience with Cerebral Palsy. As a mum with CP, I’ve navigated a path that combines the typical ups and downs of parenthood with the additional challenges posed by my disability. I want to share my story and insights of parenting with Cerebral Palsy in the hope that it may inspire others who may be pondering life as a disabled parent.

Finding Support and Medical Guidance

I always knew that I wanted children but I wasn’t sure if I’d physically be able to manage pregnancy. Shortly after our wedding, my husband and I booked an appointment with an Obstetrician in London. I’d been searching for information online but unfortunately, I couldn’t find the answers I needed. We went to see Mr Patrick O’Brien who was able to answer all of the questions we had. After examining me and talking through my medical history, Mr O’Brien assured me that there was no reason why we couldn’t start a family. Though it would be more physically challenging for me, there were no additional risks arising from me having Cerebral Palsy.

Later that year, I became pregnant with our son, Jack. Though absolutely over the moon, I did worry about how people may react to our news. The GP receptionist seemed overly surprised when I requested a midwife appointment but my family and friends were extremely supportive. My pregnancy progressed well and I managed really well until about 8 months, although I’m sure this isn’t unusual!  By this time, I was really struggling to maintain any mobility and Jack made me wait 5 days past my due date for his arrival!

A Joyful Arrival: Welcoming Baby Jack

Throughout my pregnancy, my midwife and consultant echoed Mr O’Brien’s conclusions. There was no reason why I shouldn’t have a “normal” delivery. The consultant decided to induce Jack at 5 days over as scans had shown some slight concerns but I think the consultant was being over-cautious which was really appreciated. I really wanted an epidural but I worried about being able to keep still enough. However, with the support of Dean and my mum, they were able to administer the epidural relatively easily.  Jack continued to be monitored but here’s where I think my CP played a role – my spasms kept interfering with the monitor and we’d lose Jack’s heartbeat for short periods. So just to be safe, the medical team took me down to the operation theatre.

I was so scared I was heading for an emergency C-Section. Thankfully, my fears didn’t materialise and Jack’s arrival was imminent. The surgeon gave us a helping hand by using a ventouse to help Jack’s arrival. I was over the moon and couldn’t believe I was finally mummy! We were kept in hospital to give me time to recover from the epidural and I got lots of support and encouragement to breastfeed Jack. I’d decided early on that breastfeeding would be best for us both. Constantly making up bottles would be really difficult with CP to contend with! Jack and I took to it almost immediately and I wouldn’t have had it any other way.

Adapting to Motherhood with Cerebral Palsy

Don’t get me wrong – I was worried about how I would manage with a baby. However, once we got home, I soon found my own way of doing things. I’d put Jack in his moses basket and gently push it along the floor to move him from A to B.  As I wouldn’t be working for a while, we converted my desk into a baby changing station, so I could sit down whilst changing Jack. We fell into a good routine, with Dean taking some time to work on his own business so that he could be around to support me.

The biggest challenge I faced was getting out and about with Jack independently. A pushchair wouldn’t work with a wheelchair so we brought a couple of baby carriers. Eventually, I found one which worked well but I still needed help to get Jack in and out of it so I was a bit limited. I could go and visit family and friends but that was about it. But this time was short – as Jack grew, I was able to hold him on my lap and off we went, wherever we wanted!

When I think back to all the worries I’d had, I can honestly say it was needless worry. Yes parenthood is challenging for anyone and Jack certainly knew how to keep me up at night!  Yes, it was physically tiring. But I found my own way of doing everything and I had a brilliant, supportive husband and family. And I absolutely love being a mum.

The Arrival of Niall: A New Chapter in Parenthood

That’s why we decided to give Jack a sibling. Now I’m not going to sugar coat it – my second pregnancy was much harder as I developed Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction. The condition causes ligaments around the pubic bone to become too relaxed, resulting in what was excruciating pain. My mobility worsened, and in the last few months of the pregnancy, I could barely move.

It should be said that it had nothing to do with my Cerebral Palsy – it’s just something that can happen and I was unlucky.  However, the pain was worth it all when I delivered Niall! The up side of SPD is usually very quick labours and Niall didn’t even wait for me to have my epidural – he arrived within 2 hours of active labour!

Raising Compassionate Children: Lessons in Empathy

The worries I’d had with Jack were gone – I felt much more confident with Niall as I knew I could do it.  But that’s the same for everyone right?  I now have two, gorgeous, healthy boys and I’m so glad I didn’t allow my fears and worries to stop me.  Jack and Niall fully accept me as mummy and I don’t think they notice or are bothered by my disability.

As they’re getting older, they notice the inequalities I come across as a disabled person and I’m proud to say, they offer support and comfort when things are difficult. But for the most part, I’m just “Mum” and it has to be said, I’m beyond proud to be theirs.  So if you have Cerebral Palsy and are pondering parenthood, know that you can do it. Don’t let disability take away your dreams.